Loneliness and lockdown : lessons learnt
As the COVID19 pandemic unfolded there developed a pandemic of cancelled social plans. Weddings were cancelled, parties were cancelled, holidays were cancelled, church services were cancelled, pubs and cafes shut up doors, so did the gyms as gradually all the known epicentres of socialisation were removed from our lives.
There developed for many a different kind of epidemic – a loneliness epidemic. Social isolation is one thing if you have a family and your mental struggle is one of confinement, but it is a totally different situation if you are single or a single parent coping alone, or indeed if you are living in very difficult and often isolating family circumstances. We heard of many stories like this over the past year. Zoom or Whatsapp provide incredible connection, but they are no substitute for human contact.
In the bible we read that being alone was the only thing that was not good about God’s creation (Genesis 2:18). It was God himself who said it isn’t good for humanity to be alone.
By Lockdown Two, society was recognising it is never good for anyone to be totally alone and so efforts were made to introduce social bubbling. This helped a little but it comes with its own problems of exclusivity and isolation. I remember well the pain of one older woman in a conversation in a park one day when she shared her hurt that her son and grandchildren had made the decision to “bubble “ with their other grandmother.
Joining a family once a week or walking with friends outside is a poor substitute for how humans are meant to live.
It would be a mistake, however, to think of recent loneliness and some of the effects of the nation’s mental and emotional health as entirely the result of the 2020 pandemic. As I observed culture I was painfully aware that Britons were lonelier than ever in 2019.
Opportunities for connection had exponentially increased through the world of online connection. But connection is not the same as community.
And so there is now, thankfully, a light at the end of the tunnel in terms of social mixing and we all breathe a sigh of relief. But let us be aware and compassionate to the wounds and scars for many from this past year and more.
Before the pandemic we were a highly individualistic society. We sat on our own in cafes and park benches, we preferred our headphones to conversations with those around us. We exercised on treadmills, alone. We ordered our shopping remotely, in both senses of that word.
But this is not the best way to live.
I believe this pandemic has taught us again the lesson that we really need each other. In our low times, everyone needs someone. And experiences of life that are fun are not so fun on your own. As Christians, community is at the heart of our theology. The Trinity is permanently in community and our faith is intended to be worked out in family – we are the body of Christ.
“So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.”
1 Cor. 12:27
I am someone who was drawn to the Christian faith because of the fun and love and sense of community and purpose I witnessed amongst Christian community. As a result, I have made it my mission to open up my life, my family, my home, my kitchen table to others.
We have an opportunity to be ready, to model love, inclusion and community better in the days to come.
BLOG AUTHOR: Marjorie Allan
Photo by Musab Al Rawahi on Unsplash