Learning to lament

We all know that at times, it is OK not to be OK. Sometimes its better to stop and recognise that life at this moment, or this season, is simply hard, or disappointing, or painful.

But even when we feel this way, it’s not always easy to get it off your chest so that you feel fully validated, to feel that other people, or even God, truly understand what you or others have been going through. The world around us is hardwired to push us forwards, promising us progress, selling us the idea that we deserve to be happy, fulfilled and looking forward to the future.

But sometimes real life just isn’t like that. It feels like being winded by a punch in the stomach. It’s not OK, or even appropriate, simply to try to get up again quickly.  

When we lament we take time acknowledge our situation, hurts and needs and to turn that into prayers and petitions to God.

The bible is really good at this. When horrific events are depicted in the Scriptures: betrayal, suffering, depression, unfairness, danger, death – often the response is lament. In fact, two thirds of the Psalms contain lament. Crucially, bible speakers are empowered to look beyond that place of pain and loss, and to rest in their hope that God will respond to sadness and suffering.

LAMENT IS FOR US

To lament is to give your whole heart – pain, loss, disappointment, confusion – to God. To come into his presence and ask him to do something about it. Perhaps with a prayer, a song or a shout.

LAMENT IS FOR OTHERS, THE WORLD AND OUR FUTURE

Lament is a community affair. My mum was a missionary in DR Congo when her own father died in 1973. Far from home, unable to give or receive comfort from her immediate family, the Congolese women who lived nearby came as a group to sit alongside her, to mark his death and to mourn together. It was, she says, one of the most healing and kindest events she has ever experienced.

Recent marches and vigils in support of Black Lives Matter and Sarah Everard are rich examples of community lament. They help us to face the reality of injustice and sit in the pain of those who are most affected by it.

As we lament for this past COVID season let us properly acknowledge our pains, but not camp out in grief for ever. The difference for Christians is that we may also, always, travel on a journey towards hope.

Lament is biblical, therapeutic and hopeful. Lament is a comma, not a full stop.  

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.” (Psalm 42:6)

BLOG AUTHOR: Nick Allan

Photo by Stewart MacLean on Unsplash