Grief and God

Grief is without doubt the most complicated emotion I have ever experienced. It has so many layers and it impacts every aspect of life. In its early days it is all consuming and it is overwhelming. It is painful, confusing and scary and that is the reality whoever or whatever we have lost.

I would never have chosen to experience such massive grief at such a relatively young age and for many years I was angry at its presence in our lives but as time has gone by I have also come to see it as one of the beautiful gifts. One of the tensions of life that something so hard could also be so full of life and hope – I guess one of the mysteries of the gospel.

Grief has been one of the hardest parts of my life but at the same time one of the most precious parts.

Without grief I am not sure I would have known such richness and depth in my life. It has grown my capacity to love, to feel, to care. It has allowed for more vulnerability, more faithfulness, more tenacity, more integrity, more kindness – things I have been given in abundance from those around me because grief came to visit and also things I hope it has grown in me.

Grief is inevitable. As Her Majesty the Queen has said “Grief is the price we pay for love.” Grief is all around us, it doesn’t take much effort to see it in our own lives and in the lives of the people around us. Grief rips all our lives apart at some point but that grief also has the potential to weave into our stories unimaginable beauty.

Grief is a mystery. It leaves it scars, which never go away and when knocked those scars can hurt like it was just yesterday but at the same time I can look at those scars, both mine and others, and be overwhelmed at how amazing they are.

I am thankful to grief for all it taught me, all the love and kindness that came because of it, the people it gave me, all the places it took me and where I am now because of it.

If grief is with you now, or when it comes to visit next, please promise me you won’t run from it but that you will feel it and embrace it, knowing that however painful and overwhelming it is, with God in it, it will never have the final word but it will always come with the promise of more.

BLOG AUTHOR: BECKY FORDER

Photo by Daniel Giannone on Unsplash