3. Discussion notes

‘Starter for Ten’ Question – to introduce the holy habit and get everyone talking

• Does the thought of silence and solitude excite or scare you?

Looking at the Bible – to see what God says about this holy habit

This is a lectio divina spiritual reading of the Scripture, as explained by Marjorie in her teaching video. You can do this together, but it should be done silently to allow God to speak to you.

1. Prepare to meet with God: Spend 2 minutes in silence.

2. Read it: Read and re-read Luke 5:12-16 in the Bible silently and slowly.

3. Reflection: What jumps out at you?

4. Response: What is God saying to you and what will you do about it?

5. Rest: Be still again with God.

Discussion Questions – to dig a bit deeper into the holy habit

• Why do you think Jesus often withdrew to lonely places, and what challenges do you think He would have faced to carve out this time?

• Marjorie said: “What we give attention to we become aware of in daily life.” How did you find the lectio divina exercise and how might this shape and benefit you emotionally, spiritually, and in your daily life?

Getting Practical – to put the holy habit into practice in our lives

Commit to one another how you might practice silence and solitude this week. If each of you are in different places in terms of your experience of silence and solitude, you should set individual goals. The important things is to make sure they’re realistic and measurable. You can use Marjorie’s top tips to help:

• Identify the place and space

• Identify the time

• Identify what has to go

• Have a go and set a goal

• Report back and share with your friends

I am an introvert. I gotta say, I like the idea of spending time on my own. Seeing a free evening in the diary often brings a feeling of freedom. For my extroverted wife, an empty day in the diary often brings a feeling of emptiness. The idea of ‘solitude’ may seem wonderful or terrifying depending on how easy you find it to be alone.  

Solitude is a word we don’t often use. It’s not really in our vernacular. And although we may respond in different ways to time alone, solitude is a discipline in which each of us can find fulfilment and freedom. This is because solitude is actually about us seeking relationship and intimacy with Jesus. As Richard Foster, my favourite writer on the Holy Habits once said, ‘…if we possess inward solitude we do not fear being alone, for we know that we are not alone.’ This inward solitude is a state of the mind and heart, so we can practice this discipline anywhere. 

There are also outward ways in which we can live out solitude. Jesus regularly withdrew from the presence of others to spend time alone with the Father. We see many examples of this in the Bible, such as the forty days Jesus spent in the desert at the beginning of his ministry (Matthew 4:1-11) and his time in the garden of Gethsemane on the eve of his crucifixion (Matthew 26:36-46). Jesus often drew large crowds, yet in many significant moments during his life and ministry he chose to be alone.

Perhaps the restrictions in place due to the Covid-19 pandemic may be an ideal opportunity for us to grow in this discipline of solitude, as we’re already having to isolate ourselves from most others. You may have few spaces to retreat to because of the lockdown, but consider finding an area in your home where you can spend time alone with God, even if just for a few minutes.

Solitude is just one of the spiritual disciplines – activities just like Jesus’ that get our spirit in a place of readiness so we too can encounter God. In our busy lives – full of encounters with others – all our thoughts, energies and actions are usually reactions to a fallen world. But in solitude, we purposefully refrain from these interactions in order to focus our minds on the Lord. In solitude we get quiet – we silence our energies, emotions, angers, worries, concerns and activities in order to be present with God.

One big challenge for me in exploring this discipline is that solitude is closely linked with silence. When I have time on my own, I will often play music, even if just in the background while I’m doing something else. I will often listen to a podcast while doing the washing up or cooking. I’ve recently started listening to the audio Bible as I go for a walk on my own. I enjoy watching films and television series. None of these things are necessarily bad, but I have realised on reflection that it does all add up to a lot of noise.

I’m going to try to take more opportunities over these next few weeks to choose to actively listen to the whisper of God. I encourage you to do so too. As well as switching off background noise, this will also mean choosing to have intentional moments spent in silence away from other activities. It’s important to create space simply to be with God and to listen to him. 

Let’s make solitude a priority because, as Foster says, ’…in solitude we are freed from our bondage to people and our inner compulsions, and we are freed to love God and know compassion for others.’

We’d encourage you to watch the video together online, discuss the questions, and read the blog post in order to go deeper.

It might look something like this:

• 7:30pm: Saying hi and catching up

• 7:45pm: Watch the teaching video

• 8:00pm: ‘Starter for Ten’ question

• 8:10pm: Look up the Bible passage and discuss

• 8:30pm: Discussion questions

• 8:45pm: Practice the holy habit and/or make plans for how you can do that this week

• 9:00pm: Say your goodbyes – see you next week!

• Don’t forget to begin by debriefing next week!

We know that every group is different, so feel free to do this in a way that works for you.

Not part of a community but want to join the journey? We’d love to hear from you and help you be part of the family! Email Charlotte on charlotte.henard@wellsheffield.com.

If you’re a community leader and have questions or need technological help, get in touch and we’ll see what we can do!